Hey man, I'm telling you - your wallet is possessed! You left it on the diner table when you went to wash up and it started wiggling a little and saying something about being friends til the end. I'm a little spooked, honestly. It looks so cute with its faux overalls detail, its "Good Guys" graphics, and its cute red buttons, but it feels like it's watching me. And honestly, I'm pretty sure I didn't put it next to my steak knife, but it's a little too close to the blade for comfort.
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